Red Bank Couples Therapy

& Individual Counseling

Experienced Therapy for Exceptional Relationships

Call  For Information:

(732) 936-1212

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT):

Dr. Alan Zwerdling, Ph.D, is a highly experienced psychologist and relationship expert specializing in individual counseling, psychotherapy, marriage counseling, couples therapy, family therapy, pre-marriage counseling, Emotionally Focused Therapy, counseling for depression, anxiety, stress, shame, fear, anger management, self-esteem, panic, grief, adjustment issues, conflict resolution, communication, PTSD, trauma, addiction, codependency, recovery, 12-Step, ACoA, alcoholism, drug abuse, affairs, infidelity, cheating, adultery, intimacy, love, dating, separation and divorce counseling, step-family and re-marriage adjustment.  His private office serves Red Bank, Middletown, Shrewsbury, Rumson, Navesink, Fair Haven, Holmdel, Colts Neck, Tinton Falls, Ocean Township, Long Branch, Eatontown, Asbury Park, Keyport, Hazlet, Lincroft, Marlboro, Manalapan, Highlands, Atlantic Highlands, Oceanport, Monmouth Beach, Spring Lake, Sea Girt, Manasquan, Oakhurst, Wall Township, Howell, Freehold, Aberdeen, Morganville, Matawan, Monmouth County, and the Jersey Shore, New Jersey.  07701, 07702, 07704, 07712, 07716, 07719, 07722, 07724, 07727, 07728, 07730, 07731, 07732, 07733, 07735, 07737, 07738, 07739, 07740, 07746, 07747, 07748, 07750, 07752, 07753, 07755, 07757, 07760, 07762, 07764.

Dr.  Alan Zwerdling's website does not provide medical, psychological or psychiatric advice, diagnosis or treatment.  The contents of this website, such as text, graphics, images and other material contained on the website are for informational purposes only.  This website's content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical, psychological or psychiatric advice, diagnosis or treatment.  Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist or other qualified helath provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical, psychological or psychiatric condition.  Never disregard professional medical, psychological or psychiatric advice, or delay in seeking it, because of something you have read on this website.  If you think you may have a medical or psychiatric emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.

For Information or Appointment Call: (732) 936-1212

Dr. Alan Zwerdling, Ph.D.
Licensed Psychologist, NJ License #2186
170 Route 35, Red Bank, NJ 07701

Experienced Therapy for Exceptional Relationships

To learn how Emotionally Focused Therapy can help your relationship, call:

(732) 936-1212

or click here to send email

Dr. Alan Zwerdling is proud to be the first therapist in Monmouth and Ocean Counties to be fully certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy by the International Center for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy.

How do I know if EFT is for me?

  • You feel lonely and distant from your partner.

  • You want to feel close, connected and secure.

  • You are frustrated and exhausted from trying so hard.
  • You want things to be easy, and to know your needs will be met.
  • You are tired of fighting.
  • You want to feel understood, appreciated and valued.

  • You don't want to live like this, but you don't want to leave.
  • You want a nurturing and responsive relationship.
  • You feel invisible, like your feelings aren't heard by your partner.
  • You want to feel safe being playful, affectionate and sexual.
  • You feel like no matter what you do you never get it right.
  • You want to relax and enjoy the promise of life-long love and friendship.

Our relationships are at the core of our human experience.  Healthy, strong relationships have at their essence an emotional attachment that feels safe and secure, a bond we can be sure of.  It's an inner sense of trust, of knowing that we matter, that we can count on our partner to be there for us, that we can be our true self, that we're in it together.

What goes wrong...

These days it seems that many couples are struggling to hold on to each other in the face of enormously busy and stressful lives.  So many things can get in the way, and we stop feeling safe and start feeling disconnected.  Our sense of security begins to slip away, and we aren't sure where we stand, if we really matter, if we can still count on our partner to be there for us.  Communication and tenderness break down and we find ourselves being defensive, feeling hurt, lonely, angry, fearful, avoidant, or needy.  We put up walls to protect ourselves, but the walls get in the way of closeness and connection.  Pretty soon we get stuck in negative patterns that almost take on a life of their own.  It seems like we argue all the time, or maybe we just pull away and hardly talk.  The emotional bond becomes damaged and we start to feel discouraged, frustrated, uncertain and even hopeless.

How EFT can help...

After almost 30 years of experience in couples therapy and marriage counseling, I found myself attracted to Emotionally Focused Therapy for many reasons.  EFT is based on a clear understanding of adult love and the things that cause distress and uncertainty in our relationships. It offers a clear road map for helping couples get back on track.  While many other models suggest that couples try specific negotiation or communication strategies, my experience with couples showed me that these techniques often do not produce lasting results, and do not hold up when things get stressful and difficult emotions become activated.  By contrast, EFT establishes a safe and supportive process where both partners are helped to feel heard and understood.  EFT looks beneath the surface at the deeper emotions and unmet needs and fears of both partners and brings to light what is really driving the conflict and maintaining the negative relationship cycle.  We get to the root of things.  We can then repair and deepen the emotional bonds in very specific and powerful ways, so that partners can feel safe, connected, secure and loving again.  And these results have been shown to last.

A short-term method with long-term results...

Emotionally Focused Therapy is commonly regarded as one of the most effective methods of couples therapy and marriage counseling available today.  It has been highly researched and time tested over the past 20 years.  It is a short-term, structured approach to couples therapy typically lasting about 12 - 30 sessions, longer in complicated situations.  Studies have shown that 70 - 75 percent of couples move from a distressed relationship to complete recovery, while about 90 percent show substantial improvement.  Further, EFT has been shown to be effective with married and unmarried couples, couples of different cultural backgrounds and sexual orientations, and couples in which one or both partners struggle with depression, anxiety, low-self-esteem, sexual problems, trauma histories, and the pain and betrayal of an affair.

EFT for individuals...

The Emotionally Focused Therapy method can also be used to help individuals address their personal issues and explore deeper emotions in order to create understanding, healing, increased self esteem and confidence, and to overcome troubling symptoms and lead a more joyful life.